If you are a yankee invited to a Redneck Wedding, there are some rules that you must follow.
1. Be prepared to admit that rednecks make purdier kids than you.
2. Jelly light up flip-flops are considered appropriate dress shoes before Labor Day in the south.
3. Make sure that the bride knows that she's the purdiest one in the bar. "Ooooooooo-WEEE!" is rarely lost in translation by the redneck bride.
4. It isn't polite to tell new family members that they are gay, over and over again, no matter how gay they might appear to be.
5. Make sure that no one is drunker'n you at the reception.
6. Don't let the cows out when you arrive at the church in your best Sunday dress.
7. One hour before the wedding, you have to get drunk in the woods while rustlin' up some grub with your family.
8. When attending a redneck wedding, you wash yo' chillins in the creek as to not waste any gettin' drunk time before the ceremony.
Follow these rules and you're sure to blend in enough to not get kilt.
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